Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
