I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
