In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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