I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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