he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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