And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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