Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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