DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
