Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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