So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
