I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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