Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
