i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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