i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
