took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
