Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
