The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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