You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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