Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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