i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
