He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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