I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
