Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
