Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
