I hate your face
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
