Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
