I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I just gargled with NyQuil
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
