my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
