omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
