is your mom at the bar?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
