This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
