I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
