I must be too annoying 4 u.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
