did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
