Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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