one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
