My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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