"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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