I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
