its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
