i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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