have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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