y did u give ur computer a hand job?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
