That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i came on her dog
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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