One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
