OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
