i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Michael Bay diarrhea
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
