shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
