Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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