Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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