I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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