Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
