omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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