Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
